Anxiety
For over 14 years, I’ve battled general anxiety. I go through seasons where I feel anxiety free and other seasons where I feel like I can’t shake this low-level hum of anxiousness in my life.
Through the 14 years, I’ve done almost everything in my power to beat anxiety back.
Here are just some of the ways I’ve tried to break free:
I’ve done several different rounds of counseling, seeking freedom emotionally and mentally.
I’ve spent hours upon hours with God, reading scripture and praying for freedom.
I’ve seen spiritual counselors and spent time with several mentors who have been able to speak truth into my life.
I’ve focused on my physical health, both through exercise, what I eat, and proper medication/vitamins. One of the keys for me in the last years has been finding the right combination for balanced gut health.
I tell people all the time who struggle with anxiety that they must wage war on an emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical level. All of these fronts of battle have helped. I’m a significantly less anxious person today than I was 12 years ago. And if you’re someone who would raise your hand and say, you know what, I struggle with anxiety as well – the first thing I’d ask is how you are battling these on the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels. In various seasons, you may need to increase the intensity on one front or another, but the goal is going to be won on each one of these levels.
But, I’m here to tell you one more thing that has been one of the greatest keys to breaking free from anxiety in the last 12 years.
What is it?
It was time to break the contract I’d made with anxiety.
Several months ago, I was attending the Bethel Leader’s Conference with Emily and their senior pastor, Bill Johnson, was giving a talk about something else (I can’t even remember). But as an aside, he said, “So many of you have made a contract with anxiety. You’ve said, I’m an anxious person. That’s a contract. You are signing your name on the bottom line on something you may not even want to agree to.”
That statement hit me like a ton of bricks. 14 years ago, struggling with navigating life fresh out of college and finally done playing baseball, I was dealing with some anxiety about what to do next. Who doesn’t struggle with that? But when I sat down with a psychiatrist, he gave me a contact that said, “You are battling general anxiety disorder. You have anxiety.” And that’s when I signed up for the contract.
Am I someone who is more predisposed than others to anxiety? Certainly. But also, that contract was a contract I didn’t need to agree to.
How many times have I told myself or others that I struggle with anxiety when in reality I was just dealing with a difficult situation?
How many times have I leaned on this contract when in reality I could have said, “This is a difficult situation and I’ll get through it?”
I don’t want to discount the work I’ve done to break free, but the greatest freedom I’ve experienced is when I finally told God, I’m done with this contract. I told Satan, this contract is no longer valid. I ripped it up in my mind and I’ve been more free than I’ve ever been.
Maybe it’s time to rip up the contract you’ve made with anxiety.